A retailer recently sent me an email asking a simple question…

Are cell phones changing the cigar lounge?

My first reaction was that the answer seemed obvious. The more I thought about it, the less obvious it became. Every generation has had its version of “things aren’t like they used to be.” This may be one of ours.

Let’s start with the easy one…

If your phone is making noise, you’re a $#@!%&)*

There really isn’t much room for debate. Videos, Reels, TikToks, sports highlights, FaceTime, speakerphone, none of it belongs in the lounge. If everyone within twenty feet knows what you’re watching, you’ve already crossed the line. There is no reason anyone else should have to listen to your phone. Period and I will die on this sword.

Phone calls are almost as simple. Unless it’s an emergency, step outside. If your wife is calling to say she’s in labor, we’ll all gladly wait. Every other conversation can happen on the patio. Video calls shouldn’t even require discussion.

The grey (or is it gray?) area is everything else.

What about the person quietly reading on a phone?

First off, is that really different than reading a newspaper? Or a book? Or flipping through Cigar Press Magazine**? – I’m not convinced it is. The phone itself isn’t necessarily the problem. The question is whether you’re still part of the room.

**See what I did there? :)

One of the things that has always made cigar lounges special is that conversations happen without planning.

You never know who’s going to sit next to you. It could be a retired teacher, a local business owner, someone celebrating a promotion, or someone simply trying to unwind after a long day of dealing with a rental car agency that happened to think that you….sorry…I’m getting off topic.

The point is, some of the best conversations I’ve ever had started because someone looked up when another person walked through the door, nodded, and said, “How’s it going?”

Those. Moments. Matter. 

Here’s my first hot take…

When you walk into a cigar lounge, you owe the room a tiny bit of your attention. I’m not saying you need to entertain strangers or carry every conversation. A simple acknowledgment that other people exist goes a long way.

Here’s a better one…

If you spend two hours in a lounge without ever looking up from your phone, you didn’t really spend two hours in a cigar lounge. You spent two hours on your phone with better ventilation.

It feels more important if I put it in quotes and a grey box. Anyway…

On the other hand, I don’t think we should become the lounge police (talking to you, Tad). Some people stop in specifically because they want a quiet hour to themselves. Others are answering emails so they can enjoy the rest of the evening. Some are reading the news or waiting for an important message from family. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of that.

Maybe the answer isn’t banning phones. Maybe it’s remembering why cigar lounges became popular in the first place. They are one of the few places left where complete strangers still end up talking to one another. That’s becoming increasingly rare, and it would be a shame to lose it as we all stare at six-inch screens.

The cigar already teaches us to slow down. It burns, hopefully, at exactly one speed. Perhaps the real question is whether we’re willing to slow down with it.

I’m curious where everyone else stands. Should phone calls always happen outside? Should any audio from a phone be considered bad etiquette? Is reading on your phone any different than reading a newspaper? Or are we slowly losing one of the last places where people still gather simply to enjoy a cigar and a conversation?

*Special shout out to Mort! The term – $#@!%&) – was coined in 1964 by Mort Walker, a famous cartoonist best known for creating Beetle Bailey. See…who says you don’t learn anything reading these rants?