We wondered what would happen if the legendary McDonald’s Fried Apple Pie was reviewed with the same obsessive detail normally reserved for a $40 premium cigar. This is the result.

The McDonald’s Fried Apple Pie arrives wrapped in an evenly fried, golden-brown pastry that displays an attractive, oily sheen and excellent construction.

Although not the exact same apples as the original run, the new ‘revisited’ blend had some merit.

Pre-eaten aromas reveal baked apples, caramelized sugar, cinnamon, tears of poor life choices, and subtle notes of fryer oil with a nostalgic finish that immediately transports me back to my childhood.  The pre-eaten draw delivers pastry sweetness, orchard(ish) fruit, brown sugar, and faint hints of happiness before cholesterol became political.

The first third opens with an explosion of dense, full-bodied apple filling that coats the palate with sweet, baked-apple notes, flaky pastry, and warm spice.

Initial strength is surprisingly aggressive, quickly reminding the reviewer why generations of consumers willingly sacrificed the roof of their mouths in pursuit of greatness.

The first third offers notes of caramelized sugar, baked apple, pie crust, and fleeting touches of cinnamon. Construction remains flawless with an even crunch and excellent structural integrity despite repeated bites.

Moving into the second third, complexity begins to develop as an actual chunk of apple makes a brief but memorable appearance. The wrapper continues to carry the experience while the filler shifts toward a softer apple compote profile with restrained spice.

At this point, I believe the entire pie is beginning to canoe, but it quickly corrected itself with a large bite, risking the burning off of 2-3 layers of skin from the top of my mouth.

The final third finishes clean with lingering sweetness and pastry notes, although seasoned collectors will undoubtedly insist the late 1980s production delivered greater depth, richer cinnamon, and superior apple fermentation.

Overall, this is a medium-bodied dessert with outstanding construction, excellent wrapper performance, and filler that occasionally struggles to live up to its legendary reputation.

Score: 89

Excellent construction.

Outstanding wrapper.

Average filler.

No touch-ups required.

One layer of skin removed.

Pairs exceptionally well with black coffee and someone explaining why the original production had better aging potential.