Every cigar lounge has rules, even that “DILLIGAF” guy that actually does.

Some rules are posted with a cool cigar logo in the bottom right corner but most are enforced through eye contact, silence, and quiet judgment.

I don’t think there are any signs about borrowing a lighter or a cutter. You really would think you don’t need ‘rules’ for that…and yet, here I am.

This is not complicated. And yet people keep getting it wrong. (if you only read one…read #5) 

Rule 1. It is a loan, not a gift.

You are borrowing a cutter or a lighter. Not adopting it. Not testing its range from its owner. Not walking it over to your buddy at the other end of the lounge. Light your cigar. Hand it back. Immediately.

Don’t make me hunt you down. I do have a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. 

Rule 2. Ask like an adult.

Use your words. A nod is fine. A raised cigar works. Waving your unlit cigar like those guys parking planes does not.

Do not interrupt a story. Do not lean in too close. Do not click your lighter 43 times. You are not Ron Perman in Quest for Fire.

Rule 3. Know what you are borrowing.

If it is a soft flame, use a soft flame. If it is a torch, use it with purpose.
If it is a $200 lighter, don’t knock it around on the table and see if it is strong enough to withstand drops.

And, at no time, ask how much something costs. Go quietly search it on the internet like everyone else does.

Rule 4. One light only.

My borrowed lighter is not part of your ongoing touch-ups. If you are as high-maintenance as I am at a BBQ joint, it’s time to make sure you carry a backup set.

This is where being a close friend grants you some latitude but that comes with equal parts harassment from me.

Rule 5. Cut BEFORE you lick your cigar.

This could be its own post. I see it with store cutters and borrowed cutters.

Hey, if you want to pre-wet that cap with your Jolly Rancher-tainted mouth juices, go for it.*

*I don’t know that anyone really has that…but I needed some dramatic illustration to drive this home. Let’s get back on track…

MY cutter is kept clean. It is my cutter. If I end up in some sort of Dan Brown DNA testing scenario to clear my name…your DNA does not need to complicate the situation.

This is right up there with double-dipping, using your phone speaker in public, leaving shopping carts loose in the parking lot, touching food that is not yours, and snapping fingers at staff.

Ah, that felt sooooo good getting off my chest.

Rule 6. Do not adjust the flame height…ever.

Hey Skippy, this is not your lighter. Be happy you have fire and move on.

I have seen people borrow a lighter, complain about the flame height, and start to adjust someone else’s lighter.

My favorite story was about someone who kept complaining about another person’s lighter, saying it wasn’t coming out “fast enough” and he didn’t think it would “handle the wind correctly”. I guess this was the first time they saw a ‘soft flame’ lighter.

Just be cool.

A cigar lounge is a shared space built on small courtesies. Borrowing a cutter or lighter is the quickest way to show whether you get that or not.

Try to get it right. People notice.